A huge percentage of my body is made of the ultimate life giving H₂O. Thus, it has always surprised me that I have never wanted to drink water.
Of course, I consume it via other drinks and food, and I absolutely love a Mango Lassi, or a Strawberry shake, a Ribena or even a Dr. Pepper. Foofy drinks are my favorite (alcoholic too!).
If you know me, you know that I have a thing with food. I am extremely picky. As a child at one point I went down to only wanting a handful of suppers (fish fingers!) and when a company stopped making “brunchies” a third of my diet disappeared 🙂
As I grew, my relationship with food has been a frustrating one, and it has resulted in me poisoning myself for years, and messing with me mentally. I would hate being at a friends house and not feeling like I could eat the food, ultimately feeling shame. People naturally try to push you “come on! try it! you will like it!” Folks only mean well, and most people will give something a try and it won’t be a big deal. Even as an adult, I have been the person who has chewed food and managed to transfer it to a napkin. Every time this happens I feel ashamed and childish. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME.
Some Clarity
I am trying not to give myself such a hard time now. It all started after I became a parent, and I studied various parenting books. My two children are very different, and as I try to understand each of them I am finding that I am understanding more of myself.
In books such as this I have realized that asking a child version of myself to “just eat that thing” just didn’t work for me. I can relate it to a time where we tried the “cry it out” method on our oldest child. Many parents told us “just give it a week and they are fine…. it’s better for them in the long run!” Our child didn’t just cry though, he would end up vomiting in his crib. It just didn’t work for us and him.
Later, when we had our second, we got very clear evidence that no two children are alike, and in fact siblings from the joining of DNA from the same parents can result in a very different outcome.
But things can change
So, it turns out that I have a thing about food. Does this mean that can’t change? As I have found out, it very much can change. One of the problems has been that I have been tricking myself for far too long.
I said earlier that I didn’t like water. I didn’t like the taste (which is funny since there is a lack of taste if anything). I would find that if I did try to drink it I wouldn’t drink as much, whereas I would guzzle some orange juice.
Living in America, land of the free refills, it was easy to double down on the super size soda.
I now contend that my feelings towards water was a trick to get sugar into my system. I would often “feel thirsty” when I think I was really feeling “like some sugar please. PLEASE.”
In fact, I think sugar has been my poison. Not just in sweets, but also as carbs. Almost all of my “favorite” foods have been carbs, and I went from a mix to more and more “well, lets start with the carbs first” forgetting the other bits.
I am embarrassed to admit this, but I have never consumed for nutrition, but more so for pleasure or just out of necessity (again my issues with food would give me a certain hatred towards it at times).
As I write this I have a large glass of water to my right. I still have my coffee (but go for black these days… something I never thought I would do… I used to go all in with lots of milk and sugar of course in the past), but water is my go to. No more soda.
Man, I feel so much better these days. Turns out, it’s good to not hate water.